Finally on my journey

What's up my people. It has been a long time that I've blogged but I figure now is as good as any other. Dec 29 - I will be turning 30. For the last couple of months, I've been secretly and loudly freaking about turning 30. I never really thought about it before now but now that it's getting closer, I'm tripping. I can't believe how much I'm tripping but to ease this freaking out, I've given my list of things I want to do before I turn 30. Yes I know that in two days, it'll be November which means I don't have much time but I have three things that I want to or start by my wonderful soul day. I say wonderful easier in typing form. I'm working on it saying it out loud. 1. I want to lose 10 lbs. I think it's reachable. I just have to remember that this is for a good cause. 2. I want to learn a new language, particularly Italian. I'm not saying master the language of course but if I can say key phrases, that will make me feel happy. 3. Finally move forward with going natural and get the locs that I've been wanting for a long time. Number 3 is definitely something that has always been in the back of my mind but now I can say I can and am. I have thick hair. Super thick. When I was in high school, my mother would let me get my hair done every two weeks. I would get my relaxers and always loved to do the flip of the hair over my shoulder like they did in the commercials. When my hair was done, I was happy. When it wasn't done, I wasn't the happiest person to be around. I found myself saying things like "I hate my hair!" or "I hate that it's so thick!". I never would say nappy. Didn't think of it as nappy but just thick. As I got older, the need to have my hair done all the time was still high but now I was paying for my hair appointments and it was getting expensive. Plus I was doing all of the typical things: I wouldn't want anyone, mainly the guy I would be dating to touch my hair, I would try to avoid the rain at all cost. When I would get my hair done, I slept in the chair or raised up on my elbow. I did all of that. I was the queen of the stiff neck. Then a couple of years ago, I met a lot of writers and poets (shout out to the Writer's Bloc family!) and was surrounded by people had locs and afros and kinky twists and cuts and I loved all of it. It was just beautiful to me and I thought to myself -why am I not natural? What is holding me back? It fits my personality (as far as I can tell). I love my people so why am I not embracing the hair of my people? I kept asking myself this and the only answer I could come up with was I didn't know how to manage my natural hair. I was and still am very uneducated on the right products. That one answer kept me in the dark for awhile. Finally a month ago, I decided it was time. I want a change for my 30th birthday and why not this? I'm growing more and more into my own as a woman and feel like that I am rock my locs and not worry about what people think and more importantly, the fears that I once had. I just took my microbraids a couple of days ago so I'm going to have my hair breathe. In a couple of weeks, I will be getting loc extensions. I'm really excited about it. My family, who knows me as very Afrocentric and proud, are supportive. My husband is very supportive as well. I never thought he wouldn't be but I'm glad that he understands why I'm doing it. Now it is official. No more chemicals. No more of the constant burden or "need" to get my hair done like I used to. Beauty will not be constituted by how a once perceived picture that I had with my hair.