Inner Bridezilla

Ian proposed to me March 20, 2011 but we've planning to get married since November 2009. From November to March, I watched the Bridezilla shows on WE. That's all they showed on Sundays so I would watch the back to back shows and watch these women go crazy. One went off about the cake flavor and look. I saw a lot of crying every second of the day brides and then some that just acted too horrible---to the point that I thought it was fake. (Did you see the episode with Karen? She had a three part episode. Just horrible. If you haven't, here's the link Karen -Bridezilla) They've shown it all and every time I watched, I thought I will not be that chick. I will not go over things to the max. I know that there is a way to react to any and everything and going off and crying and pouting isn't the best way. I don't do that in my normal life so why during this wedding planning process? I will admit that there have many many times where I wanted to scream or kick someone. I have had moments where I've wanted to say this is not your day or your moment to shine. I've had a time or two (or two hundred) where I just wanted to say the hell with this wedding and forget it all. This, of course, was before everything had gotten paid and just a few times after everything got paid. I have been very proud of myself for turning into those women that I just didn't understand. I have been good.

Now....as it gets closer to the wedding, I'm starting to feel the inner Bridezilla peeking from behind me. In fact according to the Knot, we have 3 weeks and 6 days until this wonderful day{insert scream here!} and with each second, I'm getting more crazy thoughts and the thoughts are forming words right on the tip of my tongue. Right now, my main concern is the RSVPs. I'm telling myself to inhale and exhale but damn. I mean damn. Invited 150 people and so far 45 responses back and 4 decline. The math isn't commuting well and the RSVP date is March 18. Mz. Bridezilla a.k.a Shaquan is getting to make her entrance. Cassandra is freaking out. Shaquan...not so much. Happy wedding planning!